I was so despondent, suicidal, desperate for something to change me. I could not put down the vodka. I went to AA for years and could not stay sober. Why? I would not give myself to the simple program. I wanted to hold on to the idea that I could drink like a normal person. After years of fighting on March 15, 2019 I put down my sword. Alcohol won that battle.
I am winning the war however because I have not had a sip of alcohol since that day. I was able to stay sober by doing the simple things the program SUGGESTS.
- I did the steps with a sponsor but did it completely, thoroughly, and honestly. The previous attempts I made only a few amends to my parents and wife, left out some critical things I had done and didn’t do it completely. That wasn’t enough. I also did step 12 and started working with other alcoholics. Big difference. Working with other alcoholics can be as simple as calling another alcoholic every day if possible and asking them how they are doing. Make an attempt to get outside of yourself. When we work with others we stop thinking about ME, MYSELF, and I.
- I pray every morning for God to direct my thinking. Every day I do Step 3.
- I try not to get too caught up in my FEELINGS. My feelings don’t mean crap when they concern me not getting my way or worrying about things. This is the OPPOSITE of Step 3.
- I try to pray and maintain some kind of connection to my Higher Power who I call God.
- I am grateful for something and try to make a meeting.
It’s worked so far, and I think I’ll keep this way of life each day.