Today is my wife, Helen’s birthday, and I am so so grateful I am able to celebrate it with her. She is the mother of my two children; my soul-mate who knows more about me than anyone. I am so grateful she is alive, as she battled and defeated an aggressive form of breast cancer back in 2012.
My wife has stayed with me through all of the pain and suffering I created in our lives. As alcoholics, we wreak havoc on the stability and well-being of our spouses and children. Our families are thrown into turmoil due to our selfishness, emotional instability, and moral decay. As a husband and father, I was no longer able to lead our family. My wife stepped into the breach and kept us together and our children safe and out of harms way. She put up with untold amounts of lies, humiliation, excuses and all of the accompanying bullshit that alcoholics heap onto their loved ones. She is truly my angel and saved me from certain death and had it in her heart to forgive me. While she doesn’t understand why alcoholics are the way they are, she is the true epitome of strength and grace under fire.
Because of that grace, loyalty, and devotion I was able to survive, get sober, and somehow hold onto to her and my children. I was fortunate because many alcoholics lose everything that has to do with their old lives, marriages, and other relationships. While regaining forgiveness and trust have been understandably slow to recoup, I will gladly spend the rest of my life making a living amends to her and my children. This is what we must do as alcoholics if we want to live. I can only control today, and how I interact and live with my family. Helen, you have my unconditional love, admiration, and loyalty. Thank you is never enough. I love you.